Nothing exciting to POST!!!

Check
click
sway
spin
write
scribble
read about other people's "wonderful" lives
spin in chair
homework is done
think
ponder
eat
move
wait.....
hope...
deffered
misapportioned
makes the heart and soul
sick
weak
broken
wounded
disallusioned
desperate
hungry
needy

oh when shall i learn?
to trust
YOu ...
not he
not she
not them
not religiosity
NOt that desire
not that dream
not that hope in the image ive created for me?
Why cant i learn?
my situation is desperate
detrimental
depravity
I rebel against you filling me..
teach me to trust again ...
to fight for joy again..
to remember your grace and love again....
i am out of strength
pride is futile now
cant keep saying
"im fine "
"im fine"
"no , really im fine"
but am I?
is reality based on how i percieve things or feel
neigh !
so i wait
for you ,
as a watchmen on the wall
i shall again rejoice, shall i not?
I shall again take joy, is your word not true?
I wait for you , for you
I trust in you , in you
are you not faithful?
Lets the heavens resound with a resounding yes and amen!
please show me,
i am only man , do you not know this?
i am ignorant , for i sometimes only have faith in those things i feel and see
as if TRUTH was contingent on me....




"You have ruined me for all other things, oh such a wonderful frustration, i couldnt turn away from you even if i tried. For who or what could compare to you , and how could one return to mundane pleasures, after feasting at the table of eternal joy? Yes , you have ruined me , no matter how hard i try , by grace i can only return, here , to you, for your name's sake, let it be known of who you are."