I apologize , as of late , one might say my writings have been ummm.....
melancholy, maybe even a little depressive...
But this fight for joy has been ,well, just that, a fight
Someone asked me if i was happy not to long ago?
I almost laughed and cried.
Happy? Oh fleeting sentiment.
It is not happiness that i pine for ...
no , it is joy unspeakable.
That i pray for grace for,
and at times i admit i cant see.
I feel so frustrated ,
for the capacity and the knowledge for this joy has been given...
Yet,
yet ,
yet,
i still chase other things
I watch myself do it
futilely
to no avail
and i know in my mind the truth
but oh how my heart breaks
for YOU
FOr YOU.
Why wont you come?
Why are you far off?
When you return and reveal yourself to me in such a way that all other things, once again loose taste?
OH Grace, please be gracious to me.
OH heart why do you not delight in the very things that would bring you life?
But in false food.
I feel as if i am going in a circle.
I must admit
I am weary .


wait....
i think i see something on the horizon
here it comes bounding over the hills like a gazelle...