Have you ever been afraid to go to sleep at night?
Not because of a fear of the dark , or a childhood fear that there is a frightful monster ,or whatever creature your imangination created, under your bed or in your closest.
But from fear of facing reality.
Its late and i should be going to bed , now, and im tired really.
But i fear if if sleep , i must face the reality , that what happened today really happened.
That time will and shall continue to move in .
I fear that the day has ended, and my cries for comfort and help have not thus been answered.
I fear the silence that will ensue once i shut of my lights and have to lay down to attempt to fall asleep.
The pain that will arise , the tears that will fall , the sting of hope that has been dashed.
I want not to wake up in the morning and find that today was not a dream , that sleep brought deep sorrow no comfort.
So let me stay awake all night , futiley avoiding the breaking of the day , as if the sun wont rise, as if its faithfulness is contingent on anything else but the very character of you ,God.
i thought , i thought my heart was satisfied with everyhthing that God was for me in Jesus CHrist.
i thought i trusted ......